


Man behind the mask

by eyesoflauramars (Andromede)



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Jossverse
Genre: Character Study, Dark, Episode Halloween, Gen, LJ, One Shot, Season/Series 02, summer of giles
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-23
Updated: 2013-07-23
Packaged: 2017-12-21 03:47:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/895422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Andromede/pseuds/eyesoflauramars
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Giles is in a dark place after his encounter with Ethan. Set S2 episode 'halloween'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Man behind the mask

**Author's Note:**

> written for the 2013 summer of giles community on LJ. This is not beta read so please forgive any mistakes and feel free to point anything out.

Giles unscrewed the cap from a bottle of whiskey and brought it to his lips. He drank deeply until his chest burned and his lungs ached for breath. Only when he thought his heart might burst did he lower the bottle, coughing and sputtering as he struggled to get air. Feeling lightheaded, he braced his hand against the wall to steady himself. He looked up at his hand, fingers splayed, on the wall. His knuckles were split open caked with blood, some his, some not. The image of a similarly battered face swam up in his mind. Ethan’s face. Even beaten and lying on the floor the man had managed to look smug, especially when he used Giles’ old nickname.

Giles gave his head a hard shake trying to get rid of the image. He took his hand off the wall and held it out, palm down, in front of him. With the other hand he lifted the whiskey bottle and poured over his wounds. The alcohol stung, and Giles clenched his teeth and balled his fist as he rode out the pain. Taking his whiskey along with him, Giles made his way to the bathroom. Giles set the bottle down on the edge of the sink and twisted on the taps to splash water on his face. When he looked up he was shocked by the reflection in the mirror. The face staring back at him didn’t belong to Rupert Giles. This man wasn’t some priggish librarian and member of the Watcher’s council. He was a ghost. The person Giles had long ago tried to bury beneath glasses and layer’s of tweed.

_Hello, Ripper._

Ethan’s voice taunted him once again. He had accused Giles of putting on an act, that he was just fooling people into believing he was one of the good guys. Giles had protested, but he had to admit that, in a way, Ethan had told the truth. Giles had spent years reinventing himself, trying to become a respectable man in order to atone for the sins he had committed as a young man. For the most part, he had thought he had accomplished his goal, but it only took moments after setting his eyes on his old acquaintance for the façade to come crumbling down. He had beaten Ethan without a second thought and would have certainly killed him if he had to. Of course Giles could reason with himself that he had only done what he had to do in order to save everyone, but he knew, deep down that there was something dark in him, something brutal. 

Perhaps under different circumstances, Giles could have appreciated the irony, the spell Ethan had cast turned everyone else into the living embodiments of their costumes while the opposite had happened to Giles. His true face had been exposed. If only he had reverted back to normal once the spell was broken like the rest of them.

At least no one that mattered had been around to witness his unmasking.

_Who you are? The Watcher, sniveling, tweed-clad guardian of the Slayer and her kin? I think not. I know who you are, Rupert, and I know what you're capable of... But they don't, do they? They have no idea where you come from._

Giles couldn’t bear the thought of anyone finding out about his past. What would they think of him if they knew the kind of things he had done? Giles could imagine how disappointed they would be if they found out that the man they had trusted and put so much faith in wasn’t who they thought, especially his Slayer. As her Watcher, it was Giles’ duty to help and guide Buffy with the fight against evil, what would happen if she found out Giles had once been a part of that evil. Just thinking about it had Giles reaching for the bottle again. This time Giles didn’t stop drinking when he needed air, he continued until his mind went blank and the world turned black. 

Giles woke up on the bathroom floor, his face stuck to the tile. His head throbbed, and Giles was careful to get up slowly. He was sure if he moved to fast his head would explode like dynamite. As soon as he was upright the world began spinning around him and his stomach heaved. Thankfully, he was in close proximity to the toilet. Once he had turned himself inside out and back again, Giles pulled himself up to his feet and shed his clothes, stepping into the shower. When he was clean Giles went upstairs and put on his usual costume, then stood for a long moment and looked at his reflection in the mirror. There was no doubt that this was Rupert Giles staring back at him. It may look a bit more haggard than usual, but his mask was in place. No one would know the difference. His secret was safe. 

But, Giles had to wonder as he went into the now empty costume shop and found Ethan’s message, how long would it be until it was revealed?

_Soon._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Please leave a comment and let me know what you thought.


End file.
